this blog is really not about sex at all you know

So I might have Asperger's Syndrome.  I told my doctor that my sister thought I had it (thanks sis, for the excuse!) and his reaction was pretty much "yeah I thought of that..."

That makes it likely, right?

Anyhow, I have to go back to the bright lights and hideous music of work tomorrow.  I do visual merchandising for a clothes shop. Since I started crying for no reason and had to leave early on Thursday, I really hope I can handle it and don't embarrass myself.

The only trouble is if I do have it, what happens then?  My mother already spends a large portion of her time telling me how to interact with people properly (remember to ask people how they are).  If I get a diagnosis, will I be able to get away with being a bit weird because there's a reason for it, or will it call for even more intense trying-to-make-me-normal lessons?

People even say I'm not weird in a bad way.  They think I'm funny and eccentric.  If it's because there's really something wrong with my brain, I don't think I should have to pretend to be normal all the time.  It's exhausting.

I know practically nothing but even I know something

I always thought I was pretty knowledgeable about the whole sex thing.  Not in practice, but I thought I had the theory down. 

Then I started reading sex blogs and I realised that I am a fucking newb.  Which I guess is saying something about the state of sex education (knowledge? I've been out of school a while...) in general, since compared to my family and friends I'm an expert.

Surprise Cake Rage

What is a pseudonymous blog for if not to express rage when people don't do things exactly as I've planned?

So my thirtieth birthday is coming up, and I'm visiting my father.  He and his almost-wife have just bought a motel, so this is the first time I've ever seen it.  There's a restaurant and stuff.

I kind of expected there to be a surprise birthday cake.  I've been going down to the restaurant every evening dressed presentably so that just in case there was a cake, I'd look okay when everyone in the rooms' eyes were on me.

Until last night, when I let my guard down.

The night before, we'd gone out to another, much nicer restaurant, for dinner.  I thought for sure if there was going to be surprise cake, it would happen there.  So I got all dressed up and I did look incredibly hot if I do say so myself. 

But no, there was no surprise and I thought that perhaps I was off the hook.  Or maybe they were saving cake for lunch time, when I didn't have to worry about anybody seeing me.

So last night, I turned up to dinner wearing daggy jeans and a daggy t-shirt with holes in the bottom, thinking I was safe.  And my hair! It was an horrific mess.  In fact, I could just about have handled daggy clothes if I hadn't known how my hair looked.

And that was when they decided to spring surprise cake on me.  Which I wouldn't have minded from people who hadn't just spent an evening hearing about how I was glad to get away from my home city because my aunt would doubtless have insisted on surprise cake and I hate surprises.

SERIOUSLY WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE?

So... this is me

So, I have been cruising the sex blogs lately and the thing I have noticed is none of them seem to be written by people from Australia.  It saddens me.  Also, it's kinda hard to relate to things when they're all written about stuff and places that are halfway across the world, sometimes with references that I don't even understand.

Anyhow, I've just recently graduated from uni and I'm considering going back next year to study something halfway useful.  I do not recommend fine arts if you're not the sort of person who can promote yourself (like me). 

I kinda feel like a fraud writing about sex, because I've only had it with one person and that was about ten years ago.  But I'm getting up the courage to enter the kink community in my area, so I'd like to have somewhere to record stuff.  I don't really care if anyone reads it or not.

So that's some stuff about me for the moment.

First post!

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